Too Angry for Words... Almost

Today I was judged based on the color of my skin.

A coworker with whom I have spoken less than a dozen words prior to today made a bold assumption about my person without taking the time to actually know me. I find myself deeply offended, and not just because her assumption was wrong, but even more so because the deep understanding of discrimination she claimed to have could not have been shown to be more shallow and one sided. I also find myself bothered that I attempted to extricate myself from the discussion several times to no avail and do not feel comfortable bringing it to my superiors as I believe both of the assistant managers would side with her (being of the same race).

The most confounding thing about the whole situation is that it arose over an innocent discussion about homeowner's associations (HOAs) that devolved into debating their legality and whether or not their very existence was discriminatory (but more on that later).

The assumption my coworker made was that I didn't understand discrimination because I'm white (she's black, and from the south). She said it differently and multiple times, but in ways much more condescending than I have put here though I don't find it necessary to drag out each wound. While I can openly admit that I have not experienced discrimination in the same context or to the extent that she has that does not make me incapable of understanding what discrimination is, suffering from discrimination myself, and being able to recognize when it is happening.

If the ability to recognize (and thereby prosecute) acts of discrimination was limited to those who have been discriminated against... well that's a thought too absurd to finish. Educating people to be accepting of other peoples differences will help change our society and prevent discrimination in the future but to know equality means we must also know the converse which is inequality and that acts of hate that spring from it.

Her other big flaw is failing to recognize that discrimination does not just come in the form of white people against black. As a member of the LGBT community I know what it is to feel those pressures of discrimination, and not just from society, but from my own family which brings challenges not found in racial discrimination. I have also encountered other forms of discrimination through the treatment of close friends and family that helps me to understand through knowledge and sympathy. I do not need to feel the pain of another person to understand that they feel pain.

Overall, the whole argument today left me feeling sad because, if she labors under the self delusion that she is fighting for equality, how many more out there are fighting for a cause but hindering the overall battle for equality.

Girls Don't have to be "Good"

There are many double standards between men and women that we have yet to break through. This is most prominent in the realm of love, romance, and sex. A woman who hits on or "picks up" a man is forward but when a man does it he's a player. A man who sleeps around is a stud but a woman who does is typed as a slut. There are certainly segments of society that have broken through and disregard these stereotypes, but the overwhelming majority are still clinging to societal traditions.

Another area where this double standard is apparent is in porn. Men watching porn is almost a given and only the extreme conservatives make a fuss out of it. Women, on the other hand, are commonly thought to have no interest in porn. The worst indicator of this is the "Porn for Women" book series. I give this entire line of books 2 thumbs down.

The idea that women are turned on sexually by images of men vacuuming, doing dishes, and changing diapers is a huge step affront to women everywhere. True, many women in long term relationships may like to see their partner doing those things, but that's not the point of porn. Porn is meant to be sexually arousing and unless you've got a fetish for it diaper duty is not it. 

Women should be free to watch porn to their hearts content. Soft core, hard core, whatever their personal pleasure. Ladies, if men can do it, so can you.